My experiments with bird poop

2 am.

I was returning home my (un)faithful kinetic honda (ugh!).

It was the time before MTV got bastardized by Bollywood. This was also back SD Road straddled a line of full grown trees - occupied by noisy black crows.

so there i was riding down at top speed - singing - when the sinister plan was 'dumped' on me.

Now it is critical that you understand that i was singing along to Aerosmith's 'Cryin'. Which, for the completely lost, means my mouth was wide open.

Then it happened.

i felt a distinct splat. a bitter taste assaulted my tongue. moments later, i felt my mouth go numb. And it was all over.

the singing stopped. and i swear i heard the crows laugh as they exchanged high fives with their dirty black wings.

Their mission was accomplished.

a decade on, i still sing. but i now restrict myself to Nirvana. Which, for the completely lost, means my jaw is tightly clenched.

And i prefer to do it under the shelter of a Sierra's dependable roof.

But looking on the bright side , i can now look you in the eye and confidently say,

"i know bird poop better than you."

you want to question that?