FACT: This post is going make me very unpopular with the average Indian woman.
Ok, so we're discussing the Indian soap. For anyone who is male or has been blessed to be too busy to tune in, here is what you missed (over the 9 years).
Open on the daughter-in-law.
she announces she is pregnant. the father is the son of the family's arch business rivals.
The grandmother reacts. Hand on chest. She will do this every 6th episode. But she will never actually die.
Sitting in an airport in Singapore, the father reacts. His expression is stoic and will remain so until the child grows up. Because deep inside he knows that the guy who got her pregnant is his bastard son - from a long-standing affair he's been having.
The brothers all react with similar, not same, expressions of shock and horror. Being Mamma's boys they walk away from the million dollar deal they are signing and take the next flight home to be by their mother's side.
The Mother. Over the next 35 episodes she will be too busy consoling the uncles, aunts, sons, daughters-in-law, and the servant to even talk to the daughter and let her know things will be alright (once she agrees to abort ofcourse).
The Servant. If you do the math, the servant has actually been in the family for almost 300 years. he will be the one with real perspective of the situation, and will prevent the pregnant girl from committing suicide by tying herself to a Khaitan fan, with her Manish Malhotra. Dupatta.
The foetus. It will be a "He". For "He" will grow up to wreck revenge on the un-accepting family and will then have a change of heart after meeting the Mother, and discovering the mother's husband is his grandfather. "he" will also be deceptively charming, will be able to dance and his character will win awards for best villain, best anti-hero (yes there is a difference), best hero, best brother, best illegitimate child, best nephew, and best still-to-be-accepted-son-by-a-now-120-year-old-father.
Now that you know, you can get on with your life.
PS: Readers are requested not to send in anymore "THANK YOU" mails.
3 comments:
okay, that was so perceptive,that my eyes read it in frame, slow frame,re-frame and every time the expression of the write-up (and the hero) remained the same and we 'k'serial killers thank you. for taking the time and the thought to write down once again(after the original script writer) some stuff that was better left unsaid. but kyonki there is no eskape, thank you.
loud wicked laughter.. resounds through the garishly done independent house with so many rooms every function can be accommodated right inside the house.
The revengeful bastard: "main apni maa par lagaye ek ek ilzaam ka badla lunga!!! @#$%#$ parivar mein aisi aag lagaunga ki unke aangan mein bas khauff aur dukhon ka tandav rachega!!(flaring nostrils,narrowed eyes, clenched fist, red face)"
(tears welling up)"..maaa...tere ek ek aasun ka badla lunga main!!"
Director: "CUT!"
10min Advertisement break: (serial theme music) (detergents,soaps,contraceptives,too-smart-for-you-kids,cars,toothpastes what-have-you)
--serial resumes--
the R. bastard: (mom hysterical with mental attack)(clarification-HIS mom) "maaa!!!...doctor!meri maa ko kya ho gaya!!"
faithful audience:(pallu in hand)(weepy eyes)"what pain!"
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